


A Waiting Game

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Het, Natasha Feels, POV Natasha Romanov, Pre-Age of Ultron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:32:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the fall of SHIELD Natasha has a lot of time to reflect on what she wants out of life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Waiting Game

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place just before the events of Age of Ultron.

Natasha was curled up on the sofa with a book when Bruce came downstairs. She felt him pause when he saw her, could almost feel the cogs working as he decided between staying and backing out again. In the end the fact that Tony and Clint were having some sort of loud argument in the corridor about rockets versus arrows, was what swung it. Bruce came into the room, nodded in Natasha's vague direction, though she was still pretending to be engrossed in her book, and then went over to the kettle.

“Tea would be great,” Natasha called out, breaking the illusion. She leaned back over the arm of the sofa, catching his eye from upside down.

“Of course,” Bruce said. He quickly turned back to the kettle to fix them both a drink.

She had to admire the way he avoided staring at her body, even when she presented it to be looked at. Not a lot of people were more interested in her than her assets.

“Good book?” Bruce asked as he put her drink down on the table in front of her. After a seconds hesitation he sat down in the chair across from her.

“Not bad,” she replied. She held up the cover so he could see.

“I'm not sure I'd have pegged you for an Agatha Christie fan.”

Natasha shrugged. “Seems like a simpler time back then.”

“Apart from all the murders?”

“Girl's got get the action where she can.”

Bruce smiled, blushed and looked down at his hands. “Action, huh? You, er, don't get enough of that round here? Playing hero?”

“Who says I'm playing?” she asked with a smile, keeping her tone light. She marked the page in her book and put it down on the coffee table.

“Isn't that what we're doing? Playing dress up, playing the saviour?”

“It isn't playing if real lives are being saved.”

Bruce looked up at her then, saw how serious she was. He nodded, took a sip of his tea, and then looked like he was about to leave.

“We do good,” Natasha said. She leaned forward a little, placed a hand on Bruce's knee. “That counts for a lot.”

Bruce stared at her hand until she removed it. “But is it enough?”

Natasha leaned back a little. Bruce seemed deadly serious, like he wanted her answer to mean something. “It's enough for me.”

She knew as she said that it fell short of whatever imaginary line Bruce had created by which to judge himself. She might have added that he beat himself up too much about the actions he couldn't control, but then that was one of the things she most liked about him.

“I've got some work to do in the lab.”

“Okay,” she said. She picked up her book and settled down to read again. Bruce slowly walked out of the room.

* * * * *

It was dinner time before Natasha saw Bruce again. Tony had ordered in Chinese and they were all filling their plates when Bruce took the empty seat next to her. She smiled in greeting but was too distracted by making sure Tony didn't grab all the dumplings to immediately say anything.

“I'm not sure it'll ever be enough,” Bruce said.

Natasha paused with the chopsticks halfway to her mouth. She had a feeling he wasn't talking about the meal.

“I told Clint once that I had red in my ledger. I thought working for SHIELD was a good way to balance the books. Turns out, not so much.” She smiled to cover up the hurt of losing yet another life, another family she'd made for herself.

“So you'll just keep on trying?” Bruce asked. “Until when? When does it end?”

“I won't know until it does. That's half the fun.”

“Fun?” Bruce asked. “I'm not sure I'd call what we do fun.”

Natasha put her hand over Bruce's, just for a second. Tony might be oblivious to what was happening, but Steve, sat across from her and pointedly not looking in their direction, definitely wasn't.

“Maybe fun isn't the right word. But life is what you make of it. No matter what terrible choices you've been cornered into, there's always a way to take back control, even if it comes at a high price.”

“You never give up, do you?”

Natasha smiled, flirty and real at the same time. “It's not really in my nature.”

Bruce looked like he was thinking about what to say when Thor came in, and the rest of the meal passed quickly with everyone trying to keep Thor and his god-like appetite from eating all of the food.

* * * * *

Avengers Tower had some of the best views the city could offer and Natasha often found herself gazing out at the world below. She'd come a long way from the Red Room and mother Russia, farther away than even her teachers must have dreamed possible.

“Penny for them?” Bruce asked. He walked up behind her and handed her a glass of wine. Then he leaned on to the railing and looked out at the city.

“I'm not sure they're worth that much,” Natasha said.

Bruce moved a little closer, so their arms were touching. “I'll agree to disagree.”

“I was thinking,” Natasha began, because she'd rather not lie to Bruce unless she absolutely had to, “I was thinking that I'm on a different path now than when I started.”

“A better one?”

She flashed back to some of things she'd done for her teachers, for the Red Room, even SHIELD. “I think so,” she answered. “I hope so.”

“It's hard for me to think of this as better than the life I could have had before the Other Guy.”

“Then you'll just have to make the most of what you've got. Like the rest of us.”

Bruce did the whole avoiding eye contact thing again. “I don't know. There's a lot of people down there I could hurt.”

“And look at you up here, drinking wine, talking to a pretty girl, and not hurting a single soul.”

“Oh, you're more than just a pretty girl,” Bruce said. “That's why the Other Guy likes you as much as I do.”

“Yeah?” Natasha asked.

“Well, you know,” Bruce said, furiously trying to backtrack, “you’ve saved both our lives how many times now?” He took a gulp of wine to stop himself from saying anything else.

“Probably as many as the two of you have saved mine.” She turned her head towards him, looked at him for long enough that he had to turn towards her. “You don't give yourself enough credit. The Tower would be a lonelier place without you.”

It was as close as she'd ever come to admitting that sometimes she wanted more than just a warm body to curl up next to. She'd been thinking a lot, since SHIELD fell and her past was exposed for the entire world to see and gossip over, about what the Red Room had required of her. She was never destined for a normal life and since her graduation she'd accepted that. Or at least she'd thought she had. Which was why she was so intrigued by Bruce, he wasn't destined for normal either, and yet here they both were, facing their demons and trying to save the world.

She didn't think he was ready to hear all that though. If anything he looked a little stunned, like he couldn't believe anyone would think that he was worth taking a risk on.

“Good night, Bruce,” she said. Then on impulse she kissed him on the cheek. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

Bruce put his hand up to his cheek and then caught her eye, just for a fraction of a second.

“I've – I've got a lot to think about,” he told her.

“I'm not going anywhere,” she said.

And she meant it. Even as she headed downstairs to her room she knew it felt right. She at least had to explore whatever was developing between them. Bruce was like no one she'd ever met before, so worried about the darkness he could bring to the world that he never considered the light he could bring as well.

The Red Room had made sure she hadn't seen it for a long time either, and one day she'd show Bruce exactly how alike they really were. But for now she was content to wait for Bruce to come to terms with the idea. After all, she was a master at playing the long game, and now the foundations had been laid it was only a matter of time before she could progress things to the next level.

She smiled to herself as she slipped out of her dress and into the shower, closed her eyes and let the water distract her from thinking about the past.

It was a long time since she'd been this invested in doing something just for herself; she was planning on savouring it for as long as possible.


End file.
